So, I've never blogged before and I'm not sure I really have anything special to say. I figured I'd give it a shot, though. I think a little background about me and my husband is in order:
I am E and I am 28 years old. I am in my final year of grad school for School Psychology, which is really cool because it's just a full-time paid internship. I am working in two schools this year, both in an urban school district. The elementary that I work in is the lowest income in the district. We also have the largest ELL population in the district (both in numbers and percentage-wise). I also work in a special program for middle- and high-school kids with behavior disabilities. I love the kids that I work with and am really enjoying my job.
My husband is L. He is 33 years old. He works for a major tractor manufacturer as a line worker. For the past year, though, he's had an office job. It's a non-traditional position where he is part of a team designing a new production line. Sounds like it might be more interesting than screwing in the same bolt every day, right? Not even close. He is so totally bored and sick of it, he talks about going back to the line before his contract is up in August at least once a week.
When my husband and I decided to get married, we decided we wanted to try to get pregnant right away after the wedding. I work in the schools and the ideal times for me to have a baby (given a perfect world) would be October, November, March, April, and May because that would maximize the time that I would have on maternity leave with my baby. Originally we wanted to start trying in January of 2011 (this month). I had my IUD taken out in October of 2010 because I wanted to make sure I had time to regulate before trying. In November, my fiance surprised me by asking "Why are we waiting to try? We might not even get pregnant right away and who cares if the timing is perfect as long as it's not bad? I would like to try now." I thought about it and decided he was right, so we started trying that month.
Here we are and it's January. He was right that we wouldn't get pregnant right away (not that it's been long at all). Although I was excited to get pregnant the last two cycles, not as excited as I am for this one. I am 2DPO right now and I can already tell that this 2 week wait is going to be a lot harder than the last two.
And I know that the let down will be a lot harder this month than it was the last two...here's hoping that I won't have to worry about that.
I have a bad habit of thinking that I will jinx things if I am too positive or if I want something too badly. I keep feeling like "it's ok if I don't get pregnant this month" so that I'm not too let down if I'm not. It worked the last two months, but now that I'm to the point where it would be great timing and I would get to have a bunch of extra time at home with my baby if I got pregnant this cycle, I'm finding it very hard not to get my hopes up.
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